everybody else's girl (metallicames) wrote,
everybody else's girl

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please dont freak

im sick of acting interested. i really couldnt care less about anybody but myself. its so horrible but its soooo true. every once in a while ill get a feeling of caring for someone but it doesnt last long. the only person i truely love is zack. woah on the way to the colony today i came up with this crazy theory. ok, its well established that i dont associate love with sex. i simply cannot understand how the two can be connected in any way. (probably due to the sexual abuse, but that is irrelevant to my point) if we all only have one person out there that we can spend the rest of our lives with and that we love unconditionally... then my person has to be zack. it makes total sense to me but im afraid i might freak people out when i say this. its not sexual in any way, im not a pedophile. i love my brother and want to be with him forever cause i know he loves me too and we would do anything for eachother. is it possible that your true love can just be your brother? i would be so incredibly happy just living with zack and raising him and taking care of him and having fun. i really hope this doesnt sound as insane as i think it does cause it means a lot to me and i want people to understand. its like hes my child/best friend/brother and i love him so muuuuch. maybe this is like the love that a parent has for a child... who knows. not me certainly. i wish i could raise him. i wish that i could get him out of that house before he gets even more messed up because of her and her horrible ways. ugh. he has so much potential and i can see her shoving it all down the drain. nnngah. i didnt sleep last night and right now it looks like i wont get much tonight either... ill go now
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